It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
