Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
