I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
