I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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