hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
