Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
