can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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