So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
time to smoke my breakfast
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
