He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
