Can Purell be used as lube?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
