it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it was like eating out sand paper
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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