We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize