I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i believe in u and ur pee
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