real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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