dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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