yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
