i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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