dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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