i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
