Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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