Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I will be naked everywhere
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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