Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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