Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
me + whiskey = a bad person
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