whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
