You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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