break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
