I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Use "feeling words"
Yay
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
