what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
