what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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