My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize