Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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