Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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