are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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