I heard we made out
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
