seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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