that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
