Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he fucked my hip out of place.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
