you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
try to milk me bitch
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