So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
