she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
