I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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