So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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