Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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