OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
In America we eat man semen.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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