I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
