Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
