new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Barsexuality is the new black.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
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My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
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You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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