Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize