i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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