I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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