he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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