Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize