She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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