bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
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He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
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I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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