I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
